Love Day.

A little mush for you on Love Day.

(Warning: If something about Feb. 14th makes you bitter, you may want to stop reading now!)

I love that hubby of mine. The homebody in him who would prefer to stay home with our little family than anything else in the world, the builder who supports my crazy ideas ("Let's buy a century old home and completely redo it!"), who stays up late to build me new closets, who lets me sleep in and even greets me with coffee, the chef in him who more often than not feeds me, the funnyman in him who cracks me up everyday, who I would prefer to hang out with more than anyone else, the protector in him who gets up at night when I hear a noise, the Daddy in him who gets up at night to tuck someone back in.

I love my littlest Valentines. Those two I get to spend my days with. Max, who's little hand pats my side reassuringly while he nurses, my little bedmate who is putting his little foot down on sleeping in his own crib. He laughs at me and wraps his little arms around my neck, pulling my hair and slobbering my cheek. Best kisses ever. My little girl Claire, the most expressive mime ever, the singer, the dancer, the climber, answering the tv shows in what Troy calls 'Korean-Gaelic'. She squeezes my cheeks and gives me kisses. When I gave her a Valentine this morning she raises her eyebrows and says, "Wow! Tank youuu!"

My bigger Valentines, those boys I love. Seth, my snuggle bunny, Mr. Charismatic the entertainer, my little boy quickly becoming a big boy, learning to read and write. Thane, my responsible oldest, my helper, the negotiator and definite Libra, ever conscious of what is just and fair, a funnyman in his own right, old enough now to be lost in Harry Potter, my big boy who sometimes still needs a mommy hug.

I love our parents. We are so lucky to have them support us and help us how they do, there for us always. Having loved us and raised us, even still we are their babies, worrying about our safety in bad weather, reminding us to take our vitamins. Loving our kids as much as we do, offering them undistracted playtime, infinite interest in what they have to say and what they are doing, sharing our joy in their triumphs, the ultimate cheerleaders in their growth and milestones.

I love that I get to be surrounded in so much love everyday. So many hugs and kisses and snuggles and laughs that I often take it for granted.

Happy Love Day to you!

A scare.

I just read a post by one of my favorite blogger moms, the first I ever followed, that made the past come crashing back at me.

I followed Betsy first on BabyCenter, at Babes in the Woods. It was the first blog I followed faithfully, identifying with her as my two oldest boys are around the same age as her daughters. Now I also follow her on Numbmum. This post recalls the terrible burn her daughter Ilsa suffered, from Betsy's hot tea she left unattended for just a minute. I remember when she wrote about it the first time, how I read her posts out loud to my husband Troy when she returned following Ilsa's burn. Every time, no joke, I hold a hot tea around my babies, I think of her and Ilsa, reminding myself to put it up when I leave the room.

Betsy details how guilty she felt, still feels, that she has Ilsa's scar confronting her everyday.

We all are faulty though, not ever-vigilant, often distracted. As parents your faults have never before been so disgustingly obvious. I'm in a hurry, pressing them forward faster than they would like, or I'm tired and impatient, or frustrated with other things and short with them as a result, or too busy to play, or just not actually listening when they're talking to me. Pausing and appreciating them, being with them, listening to them is difficult and I have to remind myself. Shouldn't it be so easy?

As a crawler, Seth drank Windex I left down one time. Not knowing how much had been in the bottle to begin with, he spent the day haunting the emergency rooms with Troy, his blood levels being tested routinely. He was fine, just a scare for us. (He thought it was great to play with new toys and have his Daddy to himself for the day.) It was a dose of strong guilt for me though. Why had I left it down? Where was I when he found it? Why couldn't I even remember if it had been full or not? How could I have been so negligent? Irresponsible, no good... and we were lucky.

One day at my in-laws, we were visiting for a long weekend, around a doctor's appointment Seth had in Halifax. Troy's parents were at work, I was running around with a towel in my hair after a shower, answering the phone, trying to schedule an appointment with another specialist while we were in town. It was last summer, just weeks after Max had been born, he was fussing in the living room. Troy was changing him, the boys were watching tv, I thought I would have to feed the baby soon. Troy had entertained Max long enough for me to squeeze in a shower. I put down the phone to realize I didn't know where Claire was.

But then I saw the gate open and just knew exactly where she was.

I found her in the pool, alone, her hair floating at the top, her little eyes open under the water. Her eyelashes had air bubbles on them. She was fine when I pulled her up, except then she was confused and scared by my ballistic screaming as I held her tight and close. We were both dripping wet, Troy was behind me, I passed her to him to see if she was okay, I couldn't even think what to look for. Her little blue pyjama top stuck to her, she only had on that and a diaper. Even her little toes were tanned. I remember it all, every single last detail, but don't remember it at all. I don't remember crossing the deck from the dining room to the pool. I went down the stairs instead of jumping in, why did I do that? Why was the gate open? We were neurotic about keeping it shut. Something in the back of my mind recalled that Thane had told me he had checked the temperature that morning, he wanted to go swimming. Had he told me that? I didn't remember, was I even listening? I didn't hear her fall in. Had she fallen in? Was she playing on the pool stairs and got in too far? She was scared to let go of the stairs railing yesterday when we were swimming, she didn't like how cold it was, she wouldn't get in when we wanted her to. I was shaking, felt like we had failed her. "She could have died", I kept repeating, Thane and Seth watching their crying inconsolable mother with wide eyes. I had the sudden realization there could have been a huge hole in our family. Our chaos had almost cost us our daughter.

Those of us who don't have lasting scars from our parenting failures have just been lucky not to be visibly caught in them. All of our kids wear our flaws in who they turn out to be, just as we wear those of our own parents. It's part of the gig. You try, really really hard. But sometimes you fail.

Kid Quotables

Seth - while eating breakfast the other day - said "When I grow up I want to be a scientist. Oh, and a golfer, a swim teacher, and a Beavers leader." Okay then.

(He's already outdoing Thane's 5 year old aspirations of working at McDonald's.)

*          *          *          *          *

While I was having a tea break the other day, Thane walks into the room, does a spontaneous bout of river dancing, hands on hips, and then heads upstairs.

*          *          *          *          *

Since seeing The Little Mermaid, Claire now brushes her hair with a fork. And wants to brush mine that way as well.

Sweet music.

This sweet song posted by Adele at Musings on the Simple Life made me think of this father daughter duo Ellen hosted the other day. Both such sweet songs.



I loved how on their Ellen appearance when she was asking how this began, the Dad, Jorge, said in their house, they "follow four guidelines: family, community, art and music".

I love how they have consciously outlined their family priorities. It's done in every organization to define where that organization should be directing their resources, their attention and time, to what work they should be doing. Why not within the family?

It took me a bit of thought, but I came up with the principle tenets we work towards in our family.

Kindness, health, and creativity.

Those encompass a lot. Kindness to each other, generousity and tenderness to friends and strangers, caring about social responsibility and the welfare of those who have a very small voice. Health in nutrition, activity, caring for our environment. Creativity in all that they (we) do, questioning and discovering, following our interests, testing our abilities.

What is your parenting 'mission statement'? If you were to list the values you want to raise your child to cherish, what would they be?

It's Ookyook

... and it's cold outside!

Check out this clip for a little nostalgia for the vintage Sesame Street crowd. When I was little I loved when this came on, and found myself humming it today as I was getting the kids dressed up warm to go outside. Although my sister remembered the words much better than I!



Did  you know that Sesame Street.org has all of their classic and present day clips online to view? The kids and I had a great time going through them today (as I had no idea how to spell Ookyook). Remember Hoots the Owl, Ernie's Moon song, and Snuffle-cizing? And all their new ones, with songs by the Googoo dolls, Feist, and Norah Jones?

It's a good way to enjoy 'Ookyook'!

Serial casts

Another huge thing that I glossed over in January?

Seth had casts put on at the beginning of the month. In a nutshell, serial casts are another step like his braces to aid the range of motion in his ankles, reducing the over toned muscle, helping to keep his heel touching the ground, hopefully avoiding muscle-lengthening surgery and knee and hip, back problems later, etc. The casts, one on each calf and foot had to stay on for '5 sleeps'.

And this kid.

He thought it was very cool. How cool is that? Seth lapped it up as a chance to enjoy the day out as the center of attention, the life of the party, entertaining the staff and myself with his comic.

He could walk around in the casts later but had to wait two hours for them to harden, so was put in the world's tiniest wheelchair to get out of the centre to the van. He thought it was awesome, and looks at me with wide eyes and says, "Do we get to take this home?!" I couldn't help but laugh. Thane was with us and as we waited in the large entry way Seth chased him around, threatening to run him over. I had wished I'd had my camera with me, but it wasn't necessary. I can still see him. I had made him a new toque over the holidays (my first successful knit item by the way!), he was wearing it and had his two little red casts in this teensy wheelchair, Troy's black socks over his toes, wheeling around as fast as he could, him and Thane laughing their guts out.

His appointments always make me feel so lucky for the healthy children we have. That being in a wheelchair was a fun novelty. Our infrequent appointments are admist the child-size physio equipment Seth has no need for, full of straps for children who have little control over their muscles and much greater challenges dealt to them. The last time Seth was fitted for braces we watched an athletic looking teen test out a new leg, one built for running. Seth's barely perceivable, mild cerebral palsy seems like such a non-issue among these.

Seth made out well though, only slowing down on the last day. Unfortunately we only snapped a couple pictures just before taking the casts off, when he was anxious to be rid of them. He had developed a blister, they had warned us that was the worst that might happen. So that day we propped him up on the couch to be more still and told him he could be prince for the day, and if he needed anything just to ask. As I drank my tea snuggled up on the other end of the couch, he says in his best princely voice, eyelids fluttering, shoulders drawn up and hands folded on his lap, "So Queenie, what would you like to do today?". He cracks me up.

The best part is that the casts were very successful, follow-up measurements showing vast improvement, pushing his range into 'normal'! It seems his brain hasn't yet noticed the new capabilities his feet have, but that his range is that what Claire or Thane would have. He was sent home with walking on his heel exercises to do that will hopefully make those neurons connect. When his five sleeps were up we just had to peel the casts off.

Not to change the subject, but I want to show off the hat a little as well. It *only* took me three unsuccessful hats on the same pattern (too wide, too short, close but not quite - more like a yamaka than a toque) to get to this one, my first actual, more importantly finished, knit something. Although by the time I got to this one I had at least figured out how to switch colors for some lovely stripe action. So a couple more pictures in celebration of the hat and it's proud new owner. (The excitement of my kid being excited I had knit him something and proud to wear it was a high I had underestimated!)

Oh yes, one more thing. Notice those bottom teeth missing? Big boy growing here I tell you.

A little housekeeping

(Blog housekeeping and house housekeeping!)

Wow. Today is just going so well. I have this ideal in my head of how the day should go, and today is actually living up to that.

To begin with, Troy got up with Max for the big stretch last night, so I logged seven hours of z's with only one shortish sleep interruption, and I actually feel awake and ready to go. Unlike how nights have been going lately, with two or more long awake interruptions with Max, and the odd Claire wake up. I think I didn't mention Claire had chickenpox while Max was in the hospital. That's how minor it was (or how distracted we were), but she was awake with some itchies a bit over the last week. Oh yes, and she fell out of bed twice. Yes. Ahem. Bed rail is now installed. Something as little as bringing it up from the basement and dusting it off can get in my way sometimes.

Then I had a coffee while hanging out in the playroom with happy Max and Claire, and doodled some house plans. (Yes! I'm back on the caffeine train. I've quit quitting coffee. After a month of dragging myself around uncaffeinated and exhausted I've decided whatever is up with Max's skin has nothing to do with the coffee I thought might be bothering him. So I'm going to at least pair my sleep deprivation with my favorite little black bean and gain some sort of alertness. Although at least now, having actually quit for a while, I can say I'm pretty confident there was no correlation between my vice and his eczema.) Watching them play together is so sweet. I love watching the sibling relationships blossom as baby gets old enough to really interact. The big kids are always so surprised and excited that the baby (who was cute but seemed quite useless to them before) is now also fun to play with!

Next up was a nap for Max and some housecleaning for me, Claire puttering around with me being a big helper. It never ceases to amaze me how baby's sleep (lack of or lots of) rules the day. I even managed to dust off my Flylady routine's that haven't seen much action in the last month. Get dressed (believe it or not that's a biggie for me), make the bed, reboot the laundry, feed the cat and empty the litterbox, unload the dishwasher, tidy up the kitchen, swish and swipe the bathrooms, and figure out what's for supper. I even decluttered the laundry room, finally taking the kitty litterbox to the basement and her food to the kitchen like I've been intending to, letting the laundry room feel clean enough to clean clothes in.



My house 'blessings' (aka house cleaning) plan, inspired by Flylady.

Notice all the checks today?! And the scribbly part is the supper plan, broccoli and fish, that's as close and I seem to be able to get to meal planning. My favorite part of my day plan, is the big square in the middle, a little list of things reminding me to get down on Claire and Max's level with them. Which is so much more important to me than housecleaning.

I even made one with the kids, with pictures for the non-readers, helping them with their routines. Even though we only use these occasionally, it works way better than any other chores chart we've tried. And they like checking off their accomplishments too!

I know it sounds like I let our lives be governed by lists and charts, but believe me it's not. They're more often ignored and not followed, but I learned a long time ago that 'ideal days' (like today!) don't happen if you haven't figured out what the ideal is, made a plan and goals. And making it visual is huge for me. So I have my little lists slid inside clear protectors - one of my favorite tricks, so I can check off items (or write down the supper plan, etc.) with dry erase markers, to be used again another day - and then taped on the inside of cupboard doors, so they're there if I want to look at them or absent if I don't want to look at them. I've done this with my list of vitamins to take, and the kids too, making one less thing to have to remember.

I was terrible at taking my vitamins, this has actually really helped.

Now, after our lunch, Claire and I are enjoying a little downtime. Her with Cat in the Hat and a pile of hair accessories she scrounged up somewhere, and I with you!

Oh yes, and the blog 'housekeeping' I was telling you about. Have you noticed the little word 'Home' sitting at the top left of my blog lately? All by it's lonesome? I've been meaning to figure out how to add more pages and just took a long time getting there. But now I've added a page for a list of my favorite blogs (it was getting too long for the side of my page) and plan to add a few other pages soon. Stay tuned, I have a few cool ideas I'm excited to add.

Next up, outdoors to enjoy this beautiful winter sun!