Thursday, March 10, 2011



You don't own me.

This evening was one of those evenings. One of those delicious evenings I want to press into my brain and never forget.

Today, I was hungry. Pretty usual, I know. Happens most days.

But then, I planned ahead. Novel idea. I decided I needed more chili (yes, the same recipe that took me down the other night). I took out the meat to thaw before we went out this afternoon, and picked up a couple ingredients on the way. Next, I started to cook early. At the beginning of Max's nap.

I do learn.

The best part though? The best part had nothing to do with food.

I've had this gnawing feeling that I miss Thane lately. That he's getting so big, that my little boy is slipping out of my grasp, beginning this big kid phase that I know nothing about. Sometimes I'll be reading to him and I will straighten up, feeling his weight on my shoulder squishing me and push him off a bit. I catch myself too late, not appreciating the snuggle that comes so infrequently now with him, forgetting for a moment that inside he still is little and still needs his mommy's cuddles, even if he wouldn't admit it anymore. It's a little disconcerting buying his clothes now. One of my kids can't possibly fit into these big clothes. My kids are so little, right?

Meanwhile, I borrowed his sweatshirt the other day.

Unfortunately, the growing bigger is not limited to the actual size difference. At the ripe old age of 8, he's developed a sarcasm to rival my own. I have no idea where he picked that up. I believe we're also experiencing some results from our goals of teaching our children to think for themselves, to not just blindly do what they're told, to express their opinion. A real problem when you just want them to do what you tell them. Now that Thane is physically and mentally capable of doing many chores, there's the new element of a major 'discussion' to grapple with first. I must first convince him that while I care, I do not care that he does not want to empty the dishwasher. The conversation will probably also involve something about the injustice of Seth only having to put away the silverware, his real need to watch/play *insert closest show or game here*, or possibly that he has grieviously injured his toe, rendering him completely incapable of said chore.

This evening, in my quiet moment approaching the kitchen, I was mentally taking stock of what the kids had been up to today, which brought on the thinking all these growing bigger thoughts, when I realized this kitchen time was an opportune time to hang out with my biggest boy.

Whether he wanted to or not.

He was not keen on the idea, at first sulkily dumping the beans I handed him into the colinder to be rinsed. Fortunately it was one of my better parenting moments, patience abounding, showing him the how-to he needed to help out. A direct link to starting early, giving myself enough time to slow down to include them. Claire even joined us. I set her up with the sink, lots of water, and the peppers and celery to 'wash' and pass to Thane. Claire and the floor were washed really well.

Before long Thane was chopping veggies pleasantly, and the best part, chatting away as he went. It was fascinating.

Although there was some talk that it has to be Seth's turn tomorrow night. It would only be fair.


  1. I can't believe that he is 8 Victoria! I remeber when he was just a baby and we had a visit in Halifax.
    I'm glad that today presented you with the opportunity for some quality time with your sweetheart.

  2. Teaching him to help is the best life lesson he can learn! Keep up the good work!

  3. May I suggest getting him an axe for Christmas. That way he can learn to cut wood.

  4. Great post! Thank you for the reminder to pay attention, slow down and be grateful for these little moments. They slip away so quickly. And soonly....

  5. hehe Mader, he's getting bigger quickly but we'll not push it! Although I'm positive Troy is looking forward to the day we have hands to help with lawns, snow shoveling, wood, and garbage. It does go so fast, it seems like it was not very long ago at all that I was schlepping through the university with baby Thane on my hip!


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