so tired....

My brain is foggy. I'm putting faith in my three-month theory, that by month three the sleepy new baby fog will lift and I'll feel alive again. I also remember saying before that month two is the hardest. It's like the lack of full nights sleep catches up with you.

I just finished bragging yesterday that Max is such a good sleeper. Which he is, usually. Although so far he just cat-naps through the day, he generally has a great night stretch of sleep, like 10 pm to 5 am, or 12-7ish. Not last night however. I'm thinking the chocolate I ate yesterday didn't agree with him. So chocolate has joined coffee and pizza on the no-go breastfeeding list for this babe.

Every time I have a baby I'm so hard on myself around this point. Why am I so incapable of keeping my house clean? I know everyone says not to worry about it, no one expects you to have a clean house with a new baby and a house full of kids. But they lie. A gross bathroom, overflowing counters, and playroom with no floor space left to play on is really not okay. Finding clean clothes for the kids to go to school in is mission impossible around here. And the house in this state definitely makes it impossible to have people visit comfortably. I would love to be happy to see the unnannounced visitors who pop by to see the new baby. It's great to have people stop by! I love it! But my house is so embarrassing. Everyone says 'Sleep when the baby sleeps', which I really do, but that certainly doesn't help the crazy messy house situation. And everyone also says to be sure to ask for help, which I do sometimes, but no one has time to help! Everyone has their own chaos to keep cleaned up. I've thought about hiring some housecleaning help, someone to do the big stuff, the bathrooms, floors, and dusting, but how can I expect someone to vacum when they can't see the floor through the toys?

You know who I keep comparing myself to? Do you watch the Duggars? You know Michelle Duggar, of TLC's 19 Kids and Counting? How does she do it? Sure she has teenage kids to help out now, but there was a point she had like 8 kids under 10 years old. And my grandmother, mother to 13 with no electricity or laundry machines. I thought about this when I was pregnant too. I'm sure they didn't just stop. DesignMom, the chic and savvy mother of 6, designer, and celebrated blogger, and SouleMama, the online incarnation of Martha Stewart meets Mother Nature, homeschooling mother of 4 and author, were back to blog posting as usual days after their new babes. I know I don't really see into their 'real' lives, but even my own good friend, mother of 5 between 8 and six months and trying for another, has a home that really is always clean, or at least tidy. I know. I pop in unexpected.

Bauhaus Wife, my artist friend Yolande (in this post), currently is 42 weeks pregnant in the worst heat wave of the year. Along with chasing her toddler Horus, publishing papers, manning their animals and tending a garden, living sustainably and foregoing a lot of easier ways out to do so, just weeks ago her and her husband fired a kiln for 10 DAYS and opened their new show.

Women amaze me. How do they do it?

Surely I can get this house clean.