Toys

My post on Stuff the other day got me thinking about how I could be smarter when choosing toys to bring into our home in the first place. If you think your house could also use a little 'less is more', here are a few tips I have about the kinds of toys that have been enjoyed over and over at our house.

1. They don't need big sets of things.

I remember Thane was really into Little People toys by Fisher Price at one point. So over the birthdays and holidays we got him over five different sets, a Noah's ark, a farm, a house, the zoo, you name it. They are so cute, but the first one he had was all he needed. We also did this with Rescue Heroes, and then there was a dinosaur phase, and it almost seemed to take the pleasure out of the first few they had and now we have all these extras that we just seem to spend time cleaning up. We call these huge sets 'dump out' toys here, where the whole bin gets dumped out, they find the one they like, and then go play with that one.

My boys seem to use a few animal figurines and a few action guy figurines, and for Seth I'd have to throw a few things with wheels into the mix. I think if they had a basket of their favorite five they'd be happy. And the kind doesn't seem to matter here, random yardsale 10 cent guys have been some of their favorites and they're always so pleased with themselves for the find. But they never use a matching set, and even Seth won't use twenty dumptrucks. My guys do like play areas for their figures to live in, climb on, the current theme seems to be making them into 'levels' (like their action guys are going through a video game). But again, their favorites are a castle they found at a yardsale, Bear in the Big Blue House's house found at another yardsale, and third is the littlest pet shop house. Forget the cute little animals that mommy bought to promote gender equality, but the house is tops on their list.

2. Craft supplies and toys they can build and create with are always a favorite.

And I'm sure, very good for their brain. The more raw the form, the better here. Plastecine, playdough, markers, crayons, paint, and paper. Forget the kit that goes with the playdough to make specific things, or the paper that only works with certain markers. Those either get used up quickly and you're left with one half of a duo, or the novelty wears off quickly and it sits unused (think making hamburgers with playdough; how often is that entertaining, and how often do you want to clean out the machine?), but the plain materials are as limitless as their imaginations.

The same goes for toys they can build with. Here it's lego, megablocks, bendaroos, and pipecleaners. Take those with you and they've got anything they'd like to play, because they can build it!

3. I also think one can never have too many books.

But I think the same rules above apply. They don't need to be new, some of our favorites are yardsale Dr. Seuss's, and old Sesame street and Fraggles and Muppets books. Books that have good rhythm and books that have beautiful pictures are also some of our favorites. Colorful, touchable baby board books are good for that toddler 'let's rip the pages out' stage too. I still think they don't need to have big sets of these either. You know the sets of 20 Scooby-Doo or Diego you can read phonics books? We might have gotten through a handful of them.

4. Battery operated toys are pretty useless.

To begin with they're often too loud, irritating for momma at best and hard on a kids hearing at worst, and then end up with dead batteries that never get switched for new ones. They're costly to keep going, difficult to dispose of, hard on the environment and often replace what the child should be getting out of play, like making their own sound effects to their truck and action guys. If you're going to get something with batteries though, make it the fridge letters by Leappad. My kids have all loved those, and that never happens. They just walk by the fridge and dance to the music and play with learning their letters for a while. It's great. If you happen to have one of those non-sticky stainless steel fridges, or would like to keep the clutter off your fridge or out from under your feet? (Because the letters inevitably end up on the floor around the fridge). Get a magnet board at the office store and hang it at their eye level. The one we have the kids can draw on with grease marker too, a big hit, and sometimes I write things on it that Thane is beginning to roll his eyes at, like 'Mommy loves you'. I maintain that he's secretly pleased though.

Any tips for me? I haven't really gotten into the world of dollies, but Claire seems to have a preference so far for ones with soft heads. I'd also love to hear how anyone avoids stuffed animal purchases (known at our house as 'stuffies'). My tactile kid Seth is so hard to turn down when he asks for a really soft one.

Mom was right, again.

So I've been thinking lately that mom just had it right. Or if I think about the specific dates, her mom had it right. Has anyone seen The Story of Stuff? Watch it. And then again. And then show your spouse, your kids, their teachers, and your relatives. And then watch it again a year later when you've slipped back into 'ruin-the-world-itis', aka: consumerism.

Annie goes through the materials economy system, through extraction, production, consumption, and disposal, pointing out the flaws, limits, excess, chemicals, human-rights issues and environmental issues along the way. Our earth can't handle this abuse and humans can't either.

"The average U.S. person now consumes twice as much as they did 50 years ago. Ask your grandma; in her day stewardship, and resourcefulness, and thrift were valued. So how did this happen? Well, it didn't just happen. It was designed. Shortly after WWII, these guys [the government and the corporation] were figuring out how to ramp up the economy. Retailing analyst Victor LeBeau articulated the solution that's become the norm for the whole system [the materials economy system]. He said, 'Our enormously productive economy... demands that we make consumption our way of life, that we convert the buying and use of goods into rituals, that we seek our spiritual satisfaction, our ego satisfaction, in consumption... we need things consumed, burned up, replaced and discarded at an ever-accelerating rate.' "
- The Story of Stuff with Annie Leonard

Does this mesh with how you feel? I know I certainly have to fight against my consumerist actions, they've been ingrained to the point of becoming instinctual. Shopping makes me feel happy when I'm blue and blue when I'm broke. I'm proud and excited when I acquire new 'things', and I'm embarrassed of my stuff that's old. So their plan worked, 50 years later, consumption is our way of life.

Annie goes on to describe the two ways we are sold on this consumerist cycle, why we drank the juice. There's planned obsolescence, where the company figures out how to make the product last just long enough to break as quickly as possible while managing to not jeopardize the consumers trust. But perceived obsolescence is the one that really gets us.

"Perceived obsolescence is the one that convinces us to throw away stuff that is still perfectly useful. How do they do that? Well they change the way the stuff looks. So if you bought your stuff a couple of years ago, everyone can tell that you haven't contributed to this arrow recently [referring to the 'golden' arrow of consumption] and since the way we demonstrate our value is contributing to this arrow, it can be embarrassing." - The Story of Stuff with Annie Leonard

Now this evening I ran into a conversation over on Babycenter, called "Working Moms; Are they shortchanging their kids?" Wow. Did this article ever start a cat-fight. Between the working moms and the stay-at-homes of course, today's epic battle. To sum it up, Dr. Laura Schlessinger has written a book titled In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms, and argues that all moms should stay at home. I find this statement faulty in that it's all-encompassing, obviously the single moms would have a tough time with this one. However, my opinion has began to lean in this direction lately too. I've worked full-time, I'm educated and career-orientated, but my family needs me home!

"She says that while women may find it financially difficult to stay at home - particularly in these tough economic times - it’s just a matter of setting priorities and making it happen." - Babycenter.com

And the working mom readers panicked - stating that their kids are happy and whole, and they need their money and their stuff! (Sound familiar?) While other readers, the stay-at-homes generally, stated things like we've sacrificed a big home, but yeah, we're pretty happy!

I particularily liked this post (by Meribel), mostly because I identify closely with her (not that I had a six-figure income by any means, but the work vs. stay-at-home personal struggle bit):

"Sensationalism sells books…I’m less concerned with what Dr. Laura has to say than I am about the nasty comments some have made here. I NEVER thought that I’d be a SAHM [stay-at-home mom]; I worked hard for my MBA, had a six-figure income, and was positioned for a rapid ascent to senior management and even more money. When I had my son six months ago, though, I found that I simply couldn’t entrust him to someone else’s care (and I had the luxury of even making that choice because my husband has a good income). I am not a female slave, a robot, lazy, or any of other other slurs I’ve read here because I stay home. I thought my 90-hour workweeks were rough; I’ve found that being on-call and engaged all day, every day, is significantly harder. Sometimes I miss the financial and psychological benefits of work; but we’re all making trade-offs. Don’t judge mine, and I won’t judge yours."

And this one (by Nicole), because it reminded me of the consumerist way of life we're in...

"Let’s face it ladies, now-a-days the world is set up for working mommies. There are breast pumps, next-best-to-breast bottles and formula, nannies, au pairs, home day care, center day care, picture mobiles, and voice recording toy cell phones… -anything and everything to make your baby thrive away from his/her mommy. We teach our daughters in order to be a valuable member of society she needs to get that undergrad, graduate or doctorate degree before she ties herself down and gets hitched with a baby. Then, why on earth shouldn’t she have it all? The job and the family.

The world is not set up for working mommies. American culture is raising little girls to tie her sense of value to her degree or her income, or all those material things that ‘make you happy.’ Cost of living has skyrocketed: cost of homes, food, gas, utilities, taxes, etc. and many women feel like they don’t have a choice, or frankly, don’t want the choice."

Over the past 7 years of motherhood/adulthood, I've been slowly but surely maturing and changing into an earth-conscious and health-conscious mother. Loving these little people this much (more than yourself one could argue) just made me realize these are critical issues and you can't just accept what you're told should be your way of life. Not only do we have to nurture them, we have to nurture the world they live in. So in the name of keeping contaminates from my children, my mother has watched me first learn to breastfeed, like she did. Then get rid of my plastic spatulas in favor of bamboo, like her old wooden ones. Then my teflon coated frying pan in favor of stainless steel, like her hand-me-downs from her mom. Then my plastic bowls and cups for glass. Plastic grocery bags for cloth. One of our largest sacrifices in the great back-to-basics? The microwave. It zaps the nutrients, puts god-knows-what into the air and the people standing nearby, and acts as a crutch for meals not planned. You know the meals I'm talking about, the ones that never end up as the whole and healthful meals we aspire to. Pizza pockets anyone? Recently we've been moving towards the Paleo (caveman) diet - vegetables, lean meat, nuts, and fruits for dessert. I try to use vinager instead of Mr. Clean, and grab the dye-free, scent-free, decent for the environment laundry detergent. Tempted to run for an antibiotic? Let's try the naturopathic store first. New baby clothes and furniture? No thanks, I'll wash the gently used, hopefully the flame-retardent douse has long since wore off. I'm learning to re-upholster, using the good bones of old chairs that would be thrown to the curb otherwise. Old wooden furniture? I'll take it. Would love to not have chemicals seeping out of the presswood variety. When I need to get rid of something? Word of mouth, Kijiji, or Freecycle can find someone who can use it, it doesn't need to be part of a landfill. Bit by bit, I have 'healthified' our lives and hopefully our environment. By doing exactly what my grammie did. And you know what? ALL of these things... save money. Seriously.

However, like in Grammie's time, none of these things are convenient or easy. I'm not saying I don't have my washing machine running often, or that the Shout stain remover isn't an important part of my arsenal (can't find a natural concoction to match it, but figure the environmental impact is less than buying new clothes?). I'm also not saying that my facebook status is always "happy, happy robot-mom vacumming". In fact I'm pretty sure yesterday it read something like "I miss my 9-5, it was so much easier!". What I'm saying is that our moms had it right, and I think what is required to save our earth and our littles is going to be hard and not convenient. We need to take a step backwards, in time, take some cues from our resourceful, thrifty moms, be there for our kids, and get out of this consumerist cycle.