Detective work, Mama style.

I feel like a genius!

I may have just figured out Max's mysterious rash. I hope.

Max has had this rash for a month and a half. In the last week of November he had a small rash on his back quickly cover his whole little body, like a switch had been flicked. After a week of it getting progressively worse and him getting progressively grumpier, and I'm assuming itchier, the poor little guy, I finally went to the doctor with him.

I have eczema, and the prompt diagnosis was that it must be eczema. I've gone through the last month racking my brain for what it could be, refusing to believe Max has a lifelong eczema we have to treat with frequent coatings of hydrocortisone cream.

Through my experience with eczema, I've learned it's essentially an allergy related rash. In that way, as allergies are, it's also partly hereditary. External factors like fragrances can irritate it, but it really comes down to diet CAUSING it. For me anyway.

When I was little I had a food allergy list soooo long, I remember it embarrassed me when babysitters came over. Most of those I have grown out of, but if I now have a lot of one of those things, like milk, my skin will let me know. As an adult I've often thought of attempting to eradicate dairy and/or wheat completely from my diet, two of the most common allergens, to see if I could 'cure' the eczema altogther, but apparently it doesn't bother me enough to push me to that dedication. I have attempted to move loosely towards a Paleo diet though, a diet composed of meat and veggies and a bit of fruit. Troy likes Paleo from a fitness standpoint, what Paleo is well-known for, where the allergy factor interests me. The Paleo diet is based on the theory that our bodies have not evolved to where our methods of food 'gathering' have. Our bodies do not know what to do with post-agricultural foods like grains and processed food like milk from other animals. Paleo theory actually points to grains as carriers of lectins, poisonous cancer causing agents. This is why these foods need to be cooked before eaten, but even cooking leaves trace amounts that build up in our systems. Paleo of course also eliminates the junk pretend food, the processed chemical concoctions we try to pass off as food.

So in that vein in my search for what was suddenly bothering my poor little man, I came across this article on La Leche discussing food allergies and breastfed babes. It's a really good article, you should read it. It's hard to summarize, but here are a few sections that stood out to me:

"The earlier and more often a food is ingested, the greater likelihood it has of becoming an allergen. Babies tend to be most allergic to the foods they have been offered first. While a baby is exclusively breastfed, he is only exposed to the foods his mother eats and secretes in her milk, so his exposure to potential allergens is minimized.

Protection from allergies is one of the most important benefits of breastfeeding. The incidence of cow's milk allergies is up to seven times greater in babies who are fed artificial baby milk instead of human milk.

Breastfeeding protects against allergies in two ways. The first and most obvious reason breastfed babies have fewer allergies is that they are exposed to fewer allergens in the first months of life. They aren't given formula based cow's milk or soy products. Less exposure to these foods means less chance of allergy later on.

..sensitive babies may react to cow's milk in their mothers' diet. Small amounts of cow's milk protein may appear in a mother's milk and provoke a response in her baby, even if the mother herself is not allergic to cow's milk. If there is a family history of milk allergies, a mother may prefer to avoid dairy products in her diet as well as not offering them directly to her baby."

So to defend against the food allergies Max seemed to be exhibiting (or so I thought), it encouraged me to continue to exclusively breastfeed and delay solids for Max until even 9-12 months to expose him to as few allergens as possible, and eliminate dairy, the food that tops all food as an allergen, from my own diet. After all, what you won't do for yourself, you will do for your kids!

But wait. While I think all of this is very interesting and wanted to pass along, tonight I realized it might not be pertinent to Max at all!

Tonight, I was lathering Max with the hydrocortisone I detest so much (I have a long history of being bitter that despite my healthy choices my skin remains dependant on the stuff, let alone using it on my perfect little babe). And I realized, he had NO RASH AT ALL where his diaper goes. His little bum was as soft and clear as only a baby bum can be, and there was a distinct line on his back where the rash stopped. I turned him over and of course there on his thighs were two more lines where the rash stopped. So that meant... that the rash was caused by his clothes! And his bedding!

Really? I didn't notice this before?

About a month and a half ago I had bought a big bottle of this natural (truely, not green-washed) anti-bacterial soap called Thieves. Which I love. It's made of ingredients like cloves, rosemary, lemon, and cinnamon that disinfect without alcohol and harsh chemical antibacterials, and protect against germs as well. I use a capful as soap in the water when I mop the floor, I have a handwash with it, and a waterless hand sanitizer of it. I used to just have a small bottle of it and add it occasionally to the laundry on particularily gross loads like the boys socks. It smells good though and I figured we could use the anti-bacterial nature in more of our things, so since it's fragrance doesn't bother my sensitive skin I didn't think twice about adding it to all of our laundry loads once I got the large bottle.

I guess there can be too much of a good thing.

I must be the most stunned person in the world. But if this is it, and it really is just the soap that's too harsh for his delicate little skin, I am going to be sooo relieved. Deliriously happy.

Tomorrow, I'm going to rewash all of his bedding and clothes and see how we make out. Here's crossing my fingers!

Crazy mama.

I consider myself a laid back mama. Actually, I'm so much so that my sisters pick on me about it (although I contest they may hover). I'll admit, my kids might look like 'ragamuffins' if you popped into my house unexpectedly, and you might have to step over items to get through my house. I usually go back to the mantra "a little dirt/cold/bumps/mess won't hurt them". On the contrary, I actually think all of those things will help them. Believe it or not, anti-bacterial soaps don't help your immune system. Going outside in their own choice of clothing helps them learn cause and effect, awareness of how they feel and the world around them, how to solve a problem (really, if you're chilly, you don't need mommy to tell you to get a jacket). Challenging physical feats are how they grow and learn coordination. I let them try anything they can, even if that means we'll reap the messy results. I figure the house, their clothes, their hands, it all will clean! Even cleaning up your own mess is a pretty good learning experience. Letting them try to pour their own juice means that now they know how. And besides all of those learning benefits, I think the biggest benefit is the freedom they have to be and do without mommy panicking behind their shoulder.

You know what does make me crazy though? Food.

In the realm of food I don't know how to be a health conscious and simultaneously calm mother. Sugar, preservatives, pollutants, chemicals... how do you avoid these?? And then, how do I do that and stay true to my environmental and ethical ideals? Oh yeah, and be carefree. Right.

In theory, I agree with being either vegan, or following the 'paleo' diet. You know what vegans eat; no meat, fish, dairy products, or eggs. Paleo is a diet following what our pre-agriculture ancestors ate. Meat (including eggs), veggies, and a little bit of fruit. No grains, dairy, or processed food in general. The theory is that our bodies have not evolved as quickly as our food methods have. Grains (and tubers like potatoes) have to be cooked to be edible, because they contain 'lectins', poisons that need to be killed. The problem is, there are still leftover lectins afterwards, not to mention that gigantic problem of the chemical cocktail added during preserving and processing.

Ethically and environmentally I'm on board with vegans. I don't like animals captive and farmed for food, I do believe they have feelings, and you probably know the environmental issues animal farming causes. However, I think meat, eggs, and especially fish can be valuable healthful foods, if we could somehow avoid the steriod injected, hormone pumped, environmentally polluted and abused variety. I agree nutritionally with paleo, that grains and dairy just aren't meant for our bodies yet, a probable explanation as to why so many people have obvious allergies to these two and such issues as lactose intollerance and celiac disease. The first thing a naturopathic doctor will do when consulted for most maladies, small, large, behaviour problems? Eliminate grains, dairy, and sugars from your diet.

Mysterious diseases like cancer are more than likely caused by the trace-toxins buildup in our foods, everyday products, and environment. Since the advent of mass production and industrialization we are surrounded by toxins, from our shampoos, cleansers, lotions, home cleaning products to the fabrics of our clothes and furnishings, mattresses, bedding, carpets, building supplies, cars, plastics in our dishes, toys, paints... exhale... Check out http://www.lesstoxicguide.ca/ for some help sifting through that pile of crazy!

So that virtually leaves me with veggies, and fruit for dessert. Sounds filling eh? Did I mention I'm allergic to nuts? Another problem with any vegetarian thoughts I might entertain.

When I combine my indecision on which nutrition path to follow and my inambition/horrible skills in all matters kitchen, I feel more than a little stressed. My gut (aka only choice left) tells me moderation is key. I can start at the grocery store, because if it comes home with you, you will eat it. I also try to follow my "Just eat real food" mantra. The closer it is to the field, the better it is for you (local is better than imported, fresh is better than frozen, frozen is better than canned or boxed). I consider grains a necessary evil, a 'filler' food, and try to stick to veggies, a bit of fruit, and choose the best selection of meat I can. Just a note on grains, did you know the american food guide is designed by the Department of Agriculture? Considering the vast amounts of grains grown on our continent, the bias of the author is an important factor, as usual.

This leaves me with sugar that I feel I can actually attack. I don't like to eliminate it entirely, the kids won't learn their own methods of self-control that way and we really like ice-cream! Also, in our bodies defense, it is designed to properly discard of small amounts of the bad stuff. But sugar is addictive, for me as much as my children, and I find if I let the kids have a little they want a lot. Sugar causes a lot of fights in our house and makes me be the kind of mom I don't want to be. It goes against all of my laidback mothering instincts. I feel like I have to constantly monitor their sugar intake, find myself constantly counting grams of sugar in my head, and drilling them to be aware of what they're eating. I don't want to drive them into rebellion or worse, an eating disorder. I try to do better with replacement treats like real fruit freezies and frozen yogurt, or switching out the sugar in my coffee for honey, a natural sugar our body knows how to break down. For Easter, for example, we only hide a small amount of fruit gummies in a lot of eggs for the Easter egg hunt and we've ditched the gross chocolate bunnies altogether in favor of yummy fruit baskets. We all love that!

For special events and holidays I have always chosen to throw my hands up, let them be carefree, and realize it's just one day. Lately though I've been thinking just how often these dates happen. The kids health is not something I should choose to monitor sometimes. But I don't like being that crazy mom, I hate being so strict! Recently I found myself arguing with my mother in law about the kids drinking juice boxes hand over fist while we visit there. She was frustrated with me too, and said "I wish you could tell me what they can drink." Well, milk, and water. And the kids will be mad about it for sure. And I'll feel like the can't bend the rules, strict brick wall parent that I don't want to be, I'll feel bad about being such a pain in the ass hovering mom to be around, and worse, my mother in-law will feel like even though she tried and sought out the 100% juice, that nothing is good enough for me.

See why food makes me crazy? I don't have an answer that feels good. The whole topic just fills me with doubt and indecision and angst about the direction our whole world is headed. It's too overwhelming. And then I give up and feel guilty while we scarf timbits. Ughh.

It's a lot of food for thought.

Mom was right, again.

So I've been thinking lately that mom just had it right. Or if I think about the specific dates, her mom had it right. Has anyone seen The Story of Stuff? Watch it. And then again. And then show your spouse, your kids, their teachers, and your relatives. And then watch it again a year later when you've slipped back into 'ruin-the-world-itis', aka: consumerism.

Annie goes through the materials economy system, through extraction, production, consumption, and disposal, pointing out the flaws, limits, excess, chemicals, human-rights issues and environmental issues along the way. Our earth can't handle this abuse and humans can't either.

"The average U.S. person now consumes twice as much as they did 50 years ago. Ask your grandma; in her day stewardship, and resourcefulness, and thrift were valued. So how did this happen? Well, it didn't just happen. It was designed. Shortly after WWII, these guys [the government and the corporation] were figuring out how to ramp up the economy. Retailing analyst Victor LeBeau articulated the solution that's become the norm for the whole system [the materials economy system]. He said, 'Our enormously productive economy... demands that we make consumption our way of life, that we convert the buying and use of goods into rituals, that we seek our spiritual satisfaction, our ego satisfaction, in consumption... we need things consumed, burned up, replaced and discarded at an ever-accelerating rate.' "
- The Story of Stuff with Annie Leonard

Does this mesh with how you feel? I know I certainly have to fight against my consumerist actions, they've been ingrained to the point of becoming instinctual. Shopping makes me feel happy when I'm blue and blue when I'm broke. I'm proud and excited when I acquire new 'things', and I'm embarrassed of my stuff that's old. So their plan worked, 50 years later, consumption is our way of life.

Annie goes on to describe the two ways we are sold on this consumerist cycle, why we drank the juice. There's planned obsolescence, where the company figures out how to make the product last just long enough to break as quickly as possible while managing to not jeopardize the consumers trust. But perceived obsolescence is the one that really gets us.

"Perceived obsolescence is the one that convinces us to throw away stuff that is still perfectly useful. How do they do that? Well they change the way the stuff looks. So if you bought your stuff a couple of years ago, everyone can tell that you haven't contributed to this arrow recently [referring to the 'golden' arrow of consumption] and since the way we demonstrate our value is contributing to this arrow, it can be embarrassing." - The Story of Stuff with Annie Leonard

Now this evening I ran into a conversation over on Babycenter, called "Working Moms; Are they shortchanging their kids?" Wow. Did this article ever start a cat-fight. Between the working moms and the stay-at-homes of course, today's epic battle. To sum it up, Dr. Laura Schlessinger has written a book titled In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms, and argues that all moms should stay at home. I find this statement faulty in that it's all-encompassing, obviously the single moms would have a tough time with this one. However, my opinion has began to lean in this direction lately too. I've worked full-time, I'm educated and career-orientated, but my family needs me home!

"She says that while women may find it financially difficult to stay at home - particularly in these tough economic times - it’s just a matter of setting priorities and making it happen." - Babycenter.com

And the working mom readers panicked - stating that their kids are happy and whole, and they need their money and their stuff! (Sound familiar?) While other readers, the stay-at-homes generally, stated things like we've sacrificed a big home, but yeah, we're pretty happy!

I particularily liked this post (by Meribel), mostly because I identify closely with her (not that I had a six-figure income by any means, but the work vs. stay-at-home personal struggle bit):

"Sensationalism sells books…I’m less concerned with what Dr. Laura has to say than I am about the nasty comments some have made here. I NEVER thought that I’d be a SAHM [stay-at-home mom]; I worked hard for my MBA, had a six-figure income, and was positioned for a rapid ascent to senior management and even more money. When I had my son six months ago, though, I found that I simply couldn’t entrust him to someone else’s care (and I had the luxury of even making that choice because my husband has a good income). I am not a female slave, a robot, lazy, or any of other other slurs I’ve read here because I stay home. I thought my 90-hour workweeks were rough; I’ve found that being on-call and engaged all day, every day, is significantly harder. Sometimes I miss the financial and psychological benefits of work; but we’re all making trade-offs. Don’t judge mine, and I won’t judge yours."

And this one (by Nicole), because it reminded me of the consumerist way of life we're in...

"Let’s face it ladies, now-a-days the world is set up for working mommies. There are breast pumps, next-best-to-breast bottles and formula, nannies, au pairs, home day care, center day care, picture mobiles, and voice recording toy cell phones… -anything and everything to make your baby thrive away from his/her mommy. We teach our daughters in order to be a valuable member of society she needs to get that undergrad, graduate or doctorate degree before she ties herself down and gets hitched with a baby. Then, why on earth shouldn’t she have it all? The job and the family.

The world is not set up for working mommies. American culture is raising little girls to tie her sense of value to her degree or her income, or all those material things that ‘make you happy.’ Cost of living has skyrocketed: cost of homes, food, gas, utilities, taxes, etc. and many women feel like they don’t have a choice, or frankly, don’t want the choice."

Over the past 7 years of motherhood/adulthood, I've been slowly but surely maturing and changing into an earth-conscious and health-conscious mother. Loving these little people this much (more than yourself one could argue) just made me realize these are critical issues and you can't just accept what you're told should be your way of life. Not only do we have to nurture them, we have to nurture the world they live in. So in the name of keeping contaminates from my children, my mother has watched me first learn to breastfeed, like she did. Then get rid of my plastic spatulas in favor of bamboo, like her old wooden ones. Then my teflon coated frying pan in favor of stainless steel, like her hand-me-downs from her mom. Then my plastic bowls and cups for glass. Plastic grocery bags for cloth. One of our largest sacrifices in the great back-to-basics? The microwave. It zaps the nutrients, puts god-knows-what into the air and the people standing nearby, and acts as a crutch for meals not planned. You know the meals I'm talking about, the ones that never end up as the whole and healthful meals we aspire to. Pizza pockets anyone? Recently we've been moving towards the Paleo (caveman) diet - vegetables, lean meat, nuts, and fruits for dessert. I try to use vinager instead of Mr. Clean, and grab the dye-free, scent-free, decent for the environment laundry detergent. Tempted to run for an antibiotic? Let's try the naturopathic store first. New baby clothes and furniture? No thanks, I'll wash the gently used, hopefully the flame-retardent douse has long since wore off. I'm learning to re-upholster, using the good bones of old chairs that would be thrown to the curb otherwise. Old wooden furniture? I'll take it. Would love to not have chemicals seeping out of the presswood variety. When I need to get rid of something? Word of mouth, Kijiji, or Freecycle can find someone who can use it, it doesn't need to be part of a landfill. Bit by bit, I have 'healthified' our lives and hopefully our environment. By doing exactly what my grammie did. And you know what? ALL of these things... save money. Seriously.

However, like in Grammie's time, none of these things are convenient or easy. I'm not saying I don't have my washing machine running often, or that the Shout stain remover isn't an important part of my arsenal (can't find a natural concoction to match it, but figure the environmental impact is less than buying new clothes?). I'm also not saying that my facebook status is always "happy, happy robot-mom vacumming". In fact I'm pretty sure yesterday it read something like "I miss my 9-5, it was so much easier!". What I'm saying is that our moms had it right, and I think what is required to save our earth and our littles is going to be hard and not convenient. We need to take a step backwards, in time, take some cues from our resourceful, thrifty moms, be there for our kids, and get out of this consumerist cycle.