Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
A late Valentine's post.
I'm really impressed by this Design Mom's Valentine's gusto. Check out her post on what she helped her children do for their classroom Valentine's.
It's a far cry from the store bought pack of 32 Marvel Character Valentines that I split between Thane and Seth's classmates. Our Valentine routine was more an event in printing practice than design prowess.Thane made a list of his classmates, picked out his favorite characters for his besties, assigned a girl Valentine to a boy he didn't like (in spite of my frown), and signed his name eighteen times. I was very impressed that Seth signed his name fourteen times in a row, all by himself. Writing his name once is a feat he's only recently managed, but I think he was spurred on by the coolness factor of being included in what was previously one of Thane's big kid only activities. And all of this was done at 9:30 the evening before their Valentine parties. Yep. Clearly a best parenting moment.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
A little room to stretch out
I'm itching to get into our new bedroom, mostly because I'll have closet space again! To the right is the room when we started renos, that light is coming from what will be my new big under the stairs closet. We move to an old house and I get a bigger closet than ever. That pleases me to no end. Right now we are bunking out in what we were planning to use as our spare bedroom (below). This plan has changed a little, it will now be the new baby's room. At any rate, it sure doesn't work as ours!
However, whatever it's going to be, it still has no closet, only enough room for our spare double bed (as opposed to our lovely new king), and currently there is no door between this room and Claire's. We generally hate the little bed we're in now, finding it backbreaking and way too 'cozy', and can't wait to get back into our REAL bed. I am just dying to put away the temporary shelf and yardsale rod that we're using right now for our clothes (squashed directly beside the little bed). Yep, I'm posting this picture with the messy room as is. Because that's how it always is lately! I'm getting very tired of trying to squash our clothes in where they just don't fit.
I have the paint color swatch all picked out, it's called Coventry Grey. It sounds boring, but I think it will be quite lovely with lots of white trim, our light blue duvet cover, throw in some white curtains? I also found a very pretty blue fabric to possibly recover one of the occasional chairs I keep picking up at yardsales and auctions. On good days Troy calls them my 'project chairs'... on other days he calls them kindling.
Our year that was originally pegged for a year to transform this house has quickly transformed into a career year (along with an energy zapping pregnancy), so progress over the last couple months has been S-L-O-W. This is what our new bedroom looks like now. I'm enjoying the career changes but am so yearning for the reno plans to go on as scheduled. Sigh. How to fit it all in.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Injustice is served...
I'm so sad for my little niece tonight. Well, nieces really, although somewhat fortunately my eighteen month old niece at least has the benefit her age has to offer, in a sort of obliviousness on the matter of things like lawyers, red tape, and divorce.
My other niece, at the perceptive age of six (combined with being one of the most intelligent little girls I have ever met) is not so lucky as to be oblivious.
Everyone has let her down. Her mother's hands are tied into sending her off to stay with her father when she doesn't want to go. She's scared, worrying worries beyond those a six year old should have to.
I'm having a rough time venting about this without getting into the nitty gritty details, so here's the Coles notes. Her 'father', originally a deadbeat who abandoned my sister like a hot potato upon the news of the unexpected teen pregnancy, was unwilling to even meet their sweet little baby until practically forced to when she was six months old, and couldn't have picked her out of a lineup until she was almost four. She spent these years wondering why other kids have daddies and she didn't. My sister made the mistake of thinking a whole family with her biological father would be the best thing for my niece and gave the dummy a second chance, but it turns out deadbeat dads make even worse husbands and fathers after a wedding. He found the girls to be inconvenient and irritating, responsibilities to be tiresome, and his beautiful wife not so much fun when she, their family, and their home came between him and his money and freedom. In the dying days of their short lived marriage he literally chose his beloved Mustang over these sweet girls. Now, spurred by his parents who hold the misguided belief that they cannot have a relationship with their granddaughters if their son decides not to, along with his love of his money and desire not to pay child support, a bitter custody battle has ensued.
My sister has poured her soul into these children, making every decision with their well being in mind. She has spent the last seven years evolving from a nervous young mother into the self sufficient, hard working, confident, intelligent and dedicated mother she is today. As soon as they finally separated she went back to university (something he had scorned so she had given up), but was quickly punished for this. Her lawyer really dropped the ball, misinforming my sister that this was a good move, that she was within her rights to move like this. She wasn't apparently, and the judge at their first court date condemned her for moving the girls without their fathers consent. Seriously? This dumbass sperm donor has been handed the right of parenthood now? After having been given chance after chance to properly earn it and throwing away his chances?
So now the girls must go stay with him for half of their time until this crazy is resolved. This shitty interim of his skuzzy lawyer not cooperating, with-holding information and not returning calls, generally prolonging everything. He has no idea how to care for children. He has no idea about how to accomplish the simple daily logistics (I dare say it would be humorous to be a fly on the wall to witness the laundry, cleaning, and kitchen duties, but then again they probably also will just be neglected), let alone more complex parenting like providing proper nutrition, education, offering stimulating activities, screen time boundaries, active playtime, the importance of schedules and bedtime, reading to your children, providing emotional security and forging bonds with them, being someone they can trust. That knowledge, those skills, comes from EXPERIENCE, and dedication and a desire to be a good parent. He hasn't called the girls in 6 weeks. Not to say good night, I love you, that he cares. My niece has been terrified to go stay with him again since one visit with him where he refused to let her call her mother when she was lonely and scared, claiming it was his night. He's moved on from bullying my sister to bullying this innocent little girl.
My little niece told me tonight she was going to pray that she wouldn't have to go. She has begged to talk to the lawyers herself, saying surely if she could just explain they would understand. She asked her mother if she was scared again and he wouldn't let her call, maybe she could call 911? I wish I could think of someone I could call for her.
It's not fair.
My other niece, at the perceptive age of six (combined with being one of the most intelligent little girls I have ever met) is not so lucky as to be oblivious.
Everyone has let her down. Her mother's hands are tied into sending her off to stay with her father when she doesn't want to go. She's scared, worrying worries beyond those a six year old should have to.
I'm having a rough time venting about this without getting into the nitty gritty details, so here's the Coles notes. Her 'father', originally a deadbeat who abandoned my sister like a hot potato upon the news of the unexpected teen pregnancy, was unwilling to even meet their sweet little baby until practically forced to when she was six months old, and couldn't have picked her out of a lineup until she was almost four. She spent these years wondering why other kids have daddies and she didn't. My sister made the mistake of thinking a whole family with her biological father would be the best thing for my niece and gave the dummy a second chance, but it turns out deadbeat dads make even worse husbands and fathers after a wedding. He found the girls to be inconvenient and irritating, responsibilities to be tiresome, and his beautiful wife not so much fun when she, their family, and their home came between him and his money and freedom. In the dying days of their short lived marriage he literally chose his beloved Mustang over these sweet girls. Now, spurred by his parents who hold the misguided belief that they cannot have a relationship with their granddaughters if their son decides not to, along with his love of his money and desire not to pay child support, a bitter custody battle has ensued.
My sister has poured her soul into these children, making every decision with their well being in mind. She has spent the last seven years evolving from a nervous young mother into the self sufficient, hard working, confident, intelligent and dedicated mother she is today. As soon as they finally separated she went back to university (something he had scorned so she had given up), but was quickly punished for this. Her lawyer really dropped the ball, misinforming my sister that this was a good move, that she was within her rights to move like this. She wasn't apparently, and the judge at their first court date condemned her for moving the girls without their fathers consent. Seriously? This dumbass sperm donor has been handed the right of parenthood now? After having been given chance after chance to properly earn it and throwing away his chances?
So now the girls must go stay with him for half of their time until this crazy is resolved. This shitty interim of his skuzzy lawyer not cooperating, with-holding information and not returning calls, generally prolonging everything. He has no idea how to care for children. He has no idea about how to accomplish the simple daily logistics (I dare say it would be humorous to be a fly on the wall to witness the laundry, cleaning, and kitchen duties, but then again they probably also will just be neglected), let alone more complex parenting like providing proper nutrition, education, offering stimulating activities, screen time boundaries, active playtime, the importance of schedules and bedtime, reading to your children, providing emotional security and forging bonds with them, being someone they can trust. That knowledge, those skills, comes from EXPERIENCE, and dedication and a desire to be a good parent. He hasn't called the girls in 6 weeks. Not to say good night, I love you, that he cares. My niece has been terrified to go stay with him again since one visit with him where he refused to let her call her mother when she was lonely and scared, claiming it was his night. He's moved on from bullying my sister to bullying this innocent little girl.
My little niece told me tonight she was going to pray that she wouldn't have to go. She has begged to talk to the lawyers herself, saying surely if she could just explain they would understand. She asked her mother if she was scared again and he wouldn't let her call, maybe she could call 911? I wish I could think of someone I could call for her.
It's not fair.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
February freeze
I am sooo cold. I am fingers cold while I type, nose cold all the time, cancel my playdate because I don't want to go outside from the house to the car cold.
So I'm dreaming of this.
and this...
and this.
Those are the beautiful, warm lazy summer days spent on the beaches of Nova Scotia. Summer will come again! I have to convince myself it will. Brrr....
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Blahs blah blah blahs blahs
I have the blahs. The winter is so frigging cold that my fingers constantly hurt and I walk around my house in a blanket blahs. The pregnant low energy my house constantly needs cleaned blahs. The stress is seeping in from all sides blahs.
I promise that one day soon, very soon, I will write a nice post for you. A happy post with lovely pictures. I think it will be a sweet 'Corners of my Home' post. Unfortunately for you, this is not that post.
Do you know what I think I dislike the most about being pregnant? Not being able to trust that my irritation in the people around me has legit reasoning behind it, or if I should just take a deep breath and chalk it up to those damn hormones. I probably should just take a deep breath anyway.
Yesterday I read this blog post by my dear friend, who is so sweet. Her post was about her family, and how much they mean to her. Alas, can you imagine what this lovely and loving post made my irritable pregnant self reflect on?
How much my family is stressing me out right now.
Yep, because apparently I'm not such a nice sweet person. Normally that actually is untrue. But really, my family is driving me slightly crazy right now.
One of my sister's is going through some really rock-bottom moments in a divorce right now. Or we hope this is rock bottom, I don't know if any of us, especially her, can take any more despair. My crazy comes from the stress that is simply seeping in from this. I want so badly to help her, to be there for her, to do anything I can to help my nieces, those sweet little girls I love, but there's so little ways to do this. I find myself pulled between the dueling emotions of compassion and attempting to be some sort of rock for her, being mad at her for reasons I can't even pinpoint, guilt that my life is so easy and lovely, and a desire to preserve myself and my little family. Sometimes I want to block the whole situation out of my brain, attempt to not be drained and upset and affect my little people, those I care about most. Loving people is so hard. I'm worried about my parents, they're so tore apart by this, I worry about their stress and health in it all. I'm frustrated by camps that have been built in our extended family around the situation, angry about rumors and misinformation and hard feelings.
And my other sister and I are fighting for no reason at all. Because I moved away from her and we miss each other.
To be fair to my better, more kind qualities, most of how they're driving me crazy is because I care about them so much. I care for their well being and care about their opinions. I want them to be happy and I want to be there for them, and I don't feel like there's enough of me to do all of that.
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